April is Alcohol Awareness Month. Researchers estimate that there are more than 178,000 alcohol-related deaths each year, making alcohol a leading preventable cause of death in the U.S. For many family members and friends of those who are struggling with alcohol addiction, feeling powerless is a common thread. 

But don’t worry, you’re not alone. There are resources out there to start the process to help a loved one and you are more equipped to do so than you might realize. Remember, alcohol abuse doesn’t just affect one person- families and friends can also struggle so it is important to plan how to approach your loved one.

Understanding The Warning Signs of Addiction

It’s not uncommon for a person to have a glass or wine or beer at the end of the work week or on a weekend day. This can be a way for someone to unwind or be part of a social gathering with friends. When the behaviors become less oriented toward an occasional event and part of a regular occurrence, it’s time to consider other behaviors of addiction.

Some warning signs from HelpGuide.org include:

• Regularly neglecting responsibilities at home, school or work because they are recovering from drinking episodes
• Binge Drinking large quantities and more often than they need to
• Lie to cover up how much they are drinking
• Black out or can’t remember what they did using alcohol
• Continue to use alcohol as a self-medication, even when it is causing harm to themselves or those around them.

Recognizing these signs can be the first step into initiating a conversation with a loved one about a potential drinking problem.

Tips for the Initial Conversation With Your Loved One

For some, having the initial conversation can be the hardest step. While some families choose to have this discussion through a form of an intervention, it is not necessary in all cases. However you choose to begin this discussion, it’s important to NOT label your loved one as an “alcoholic” or use accusatory language. 

Creating blame and anger can make it more difficult for a loved one to be willing to listen and have the open conversation that needs to take place.  Phrases such as “I feel as though you might be drinking too much alcohol” offer a softer opening. It is not accusatory and leads with your own feelings versus “You have a drinking problem.”

 As the conversation progresses, you should be prepared to offer steps to help them. Whether this is counseling, an outpatient treatment program, or a support group, having options to explore is an important part of this discussion.

Ways To Offer Help During Treatment and Recovery

For some who struggle with alcohol addiction, it has risen out of a feeling of disconnect or a struggle to find purpose. Inviting your loved one to join you in activities that don’t involve alcohol (especially ones that happen on often such as a regular workout schedule or meeting for lunch at a recurring weekly day) can help encourage a connection that they are lacking. This can also provide a pathway to give them a safe space for open and meaningful conversations. 

If they are in a place where they are ready to seek outside help or might be already involved in scheduled counseling sessions or an AA group, offer to go with them. Even offering to drive them to the appointment or meeting can provide meaningful support, especially in the early days when they might be feeling ashamed or uncomfortable.

Offering Support in Recovery for Your Loved One

Recovery feels like a lonely road for some. Once their vice is taken away, it can be difficult to find where they belong. In addition to offering to take them to their appointments, support them in finding life-enriching hobbies and activities that help curb enabling feelings. Some of these activities can include taking a class to learn a new skill, fishing or hiking trips, starting a new workout program, or inviting them to join a club that aligns with a hobby of theirs.

When supporting them, some other helpful tips include:

• Suggest social activities that don’t involve drinking (this might seem obvious, but consider that when thinking about places you are traveling especially)
• Don’t enable them (Enabling them can hide them from the consequences of their actions. While it is important to offer support, they also need to be held accountable)
• Look for other ways to manage stress and anxiety that don’t invite them to lean on drinking
• Prepare for Relapse but don’t blame yourself. (Relapse can, and may, happen. It’s not uncommon and it’s important for you to have resources to help them when that does take place. When the cravings hit, have a “game plan” of ways to curb them such as encouraging them to go for a walk or participate in another hobby to take their mind off of it.)

Remember, it is possible to overcome alcohol addiction but the road is long and will not always be easy. While April is Alcohol Awareness month, this doesn’t end with the turning of the calendar page. Take each day as it comes and celebrate the small victories that come with the milestones. 

Solidarity is here to help

At Solidarity HealthShare, we are committed to helping our Members have healthy, full lives and there are several ways that we work to accomplish this. One of the ways that we do that is by sharing into unlimited mental health counseling, including counseling related to alcoholism. This important service can help Members overcome their addictions and lead healthy lives free from this burden.